You probably know quite a bit about what it’s like to feel-like-a-fraud ; after all you’re reading about it hoping maybe, that you will get some relief from knowing that you are not the only one who feels this way and maybe trying to figure out some ways to just “stop it”.
Feeling-like-a-fraud is a shared sentiment amongst most people. We all, at one point or another, feel like we’re not really all that we are trying to portray. As if the person that you are out there in the world is a much better, smarter, funnier, prettier, etc version of who you believe you are at the core. Sure, the opposite is true as well for some, who you show the world you are does not do real justice to who you truly are or believe you are. This however is a topic I will cover at a different time since the feelings ensued from such a situation are nowhere near fraud-like feelings and more about feeling misunderstood.
Our culture has an interestingly bizarre, confusion laden relationship with sex. While teens are expected to “just say no” the average adult struggles to come to a resolution and find a consistent understanding of what sex is and how it figures and fits into life.
I have seen my fair share of shrinks throughout my adolescent and adult life, looking to find a trauma therapist. I’ve experienced all sorts of therapy methods, in different corners of the world, with specialists and generalists alike, cognitive, psychodynamic, behavioral, person centered, and existential therapists. In fact, the reason why I became a psychotherapist has to do with the often questionable practices that past therapists engaged in and my desire to do better, learn from the things they did well as well as their mistakes. My very first therapist I had as a teenager was a psychiatrist that would take everything I shared in session and pass it along to my family members and others outside of it as well; this was the first time I thought of becoming a psychotherapist, a better therapist than the one I was seeing at the time.
Happiness is a similar concept to that of the key to the meaning of life; we actively seek it and are willing to go to the depths of our strength to get it. Happiness, as many definitions as there are people and still a common goal for most human beings.
I’ve been fascinated with the concept of happiness since my first encounter with philosophy in Mrs. Ivan’s class in 8th grade (this was a social sciences class and since Mrs. Ivan was teaching philosophy to high school students she exposed us to it too). As a teen, I was convinced that happiness is a similar concept to that of a unicorn; we have the words to describe the concepts but that doesn’t necessarily mean that they have to exist in reality, quite the nihilist.