I have seen my fair share of shrinks throughout my adolescent and adult life, looking to find a trauma therapist. I’ve experienced all sorts of therapy methods, in different corners of the world, with specialists and generalists alike, cognitive, psychodynamic, behavioral, person centered, and existential therapists. In fact, the reason why I became a psychotherapist has to do with the often questionable practices that past therapists engaged in and my desire to do better, learn from the things they did well as well as their mistakes. My very first therapist I had as a teenager was a psychiatrist that would take everything I shared in session and pass it along to my family members and others outside of it as well; this was the first time I thought of becoming a psychotherapist, a better therapist than the one I was seeing at the time. Read More
I have a personal vendetta with the word “should”. I’ve been battling with its’ influence for over 10 years consciously, and have struggled with it for most of my life. Maybe you too have been in the same boat, if not consciously then unconsciously. In the moments I was feeling frustrated I would say that “should’s” ruin Read More
“I can always choose, but I ought to know that if I do not choose, I am still choosing” (J.P. Sartre).
There have been times in your life when you felt like there are no choices to be made or maybe you figured that because you cannot see additional possibilities, there are none. You rationalize that when it comes to things that are external to you, you have no choice in the matter. If you can think of the situations that shaped your current views on choice, you might realize that most if not all have something in common: in those situations you either felt overwhelmed or underwhelmed by the choices available. In such situations, our thinking is no longer abstract and filled with possibilities; rather it becomes split in a black and white type of mentality. Why is that? Read More